In my last post I covered the importance of commitment to our marriages. When we marry, we make a covenant and a vow that we should take very seriously.
But who wants to be committed to a lousy marriage? I don’t see any hands raised out there!
It is incumbent upon each of us to do what we can to make our marriages better. As I mentioned in the beginning of this series, we are each the only person we have the power to change.
For many of us one thing that needs to change is our priorities. It’s time for a little soul searching, ladies.
Many of us would say that, other than our relationship with the Lord, our husbands are our top priority, but are they really? Do we really put their needs and even their desires above our own and above those of our children?
I believe that our husbands should be a higher priority than our children. I know that children demand our attention. They can’t do many things for themselves; they are needier; they are a big responsibility; they’re so cute, etc.
However, one of the best things you can do for your children is to have a good marriage! It’s worth the effort. What better gift for a child than to be raised by two parents working together in this age of no-fault divorces and a 50 percent divorce rate?
Also, one of your goals should be to raise your children so that they can live without you. In other words, they’re not always going to need you or be with you. Your relationship with your husband, on the other hand, is supposed to be “until death us do part”!
Am I saying, practically speaking, that your husband will always come first? Not at all. There will be times raising your children that you both must put aside your own desires to take care of a child. They get sick; they need training, etc. That is just part of being a parent.
But when you continually choose to pour your time and effort into the children and fail to spend either on your man, you risk doing permanent damage to your marriage relationship.
What if you homeschool? You are a busy person. Been there; done that. I understand. You have just added to all the other responsibilities of being a wife and mother another very time-consuming job—one that, if you let it, can take up all your waking time.
The busier one gets—homeschooling, working outside the home, taking care of aging parents—the more intentional one must be to meet her husband’s needs.
How important is your husband to you? He needs to know!
A little soul searching:
- How important is your husband/marriage to you?
- Is he really aware of that?
- How do you demonstrate that to your husband?
In the next blog post, I’ll be discussing some ways I found to communicate my husband’s importance to him.