Tim and I were encouraged at a seminar years ago to go on a weekly date. At that time we had been home schooling for about four years, and our children ranged in age from 6 to 11 years.
On the way home Tim and I discussed the idea. I asked him if he thought we could afford the time to go out once a week. He said he thought we couldn’t afford not to. (I think he might have been very cognizant of the need, since right before we left for the seminar I was in the kitchen cooking with my stepmother. I had just turned my back on her, and she asked me how long she should “cook this.” I turned back to her and asked what she was cooking. 😛 )
So, we began to go on dates once a week.
I was in charge of getting a babysitter each week. Because I really hated that job, I tended to procrastinate; by the time I called people, often they were already busy. I learned pretty quickly to find a young person who would put watching our kids on her schedule on the same night each week.
Going on a date doesn’t mean you have to spend a lot of money. Sometimes we would go out to eat, sometimes to a movie, for a walk, and/or for ice cream. Now, the picture above is of Tim and me at the recent THSC Gala. Don’t panic; this is not what we looked like when we went on a date! Ladies, it is nice to clean up and fix up for your husband, but it doesn’t have to be a burden, financial or otherwise.
Sometimes we would have good discussions; sometimes we would be so tired that we’d just sit and look at each other; sometimes we would have rather warm disagreements. The point was that we were without our children and we had opportunity to talk and just be together without being interrupted multiple times.
Many women are so wrapped up in their children that they don’t have any time for their men. Here’s the deal, ladies. Your husband was there before the children came along. You’d like him to be there after they are gone. Our husbands need to know they are important to us. Sure, there are times, like when they are sick, that the children have urgent needs that must come first. But our husbands have needs too; they are just not usually as vocal about them as the children are.
Going on weekly dates all those years ago paid off, and we’re still doing it today.
When was the last time you spent an evening alone (without computer, TV, phones, kids) with your husband? What’s your favorite thing to do on a date with your husband?
Wendy T. says
Our dates are pretty simple, usually. Often it’s taking a drive, particularly in the fall. Sometimes we just go browse a bookstore, or take a walk, or check out a new restaurant in our area. Our biggest challenge is what to talk about. We work together out of our home, so sometimes it can be challenging to come up with stuff to talk about that isn’t related to work or kids.
Anna Kia says
Sometimes we do a movie, or dinner, or even a run or hike. It’s nice to run without a jogging stroller and actually go as fast as I can. Sometimes we drive around downtown LA and get out and walk around, and a few times we’ve taken the metro (a rare experience for us, since everyone here pretty much uses cars). Our friends give us lots of gift cards for Christmas and birthdays, so we find time to use them up together for fun.
Lyndsay Lambert says
Lyndsay Lambert says
Thanks for sharing, Wendy!