My heart is very heavy today.
One of my dearest friends found out this week that she has invasive metastatic breast cancer that has spread to several areas in her body, some of which are potentially life threatening.
This woman just graduated her youngest of four children from their home school. Her husband, an elder in our church, loves her, as do her children, her grandchild, and many others. She has another grandbaby due any time now.
She has been a friend of mine for many years. We have served our church side by side, raised our children together, taught and attended Bible studies together, held each other accountable, and encouraged each other through a large part of our adult lives.
I don’t understand why this is happening. From a strictly physical standpoint, it shouldn’t be. She has had regular exams, and at the last checkup she had, only a few months ago, everything was clear.
From a spiritual standpoint, she has so much to give. She’s been faithful to the Lord for so long, and she has one of the sweetest spirits of anyone I know. I have learned much from her. She’s been a grandmother for only two years. She’s just finished her home schooling journey, so she’ll have more time now.
I hate for her and her family to have to go through this, regardless of the outcome. It’s scary and painful, as well as upsetting and heartrending. I can’t think of a positive thing to call it, from a human perspective.
I am tempted to ask God, “Why?” but I know that He wasn’t too pleased with Job for asking that question. The truth of the matter is that God is not accountable to me. He doesn’t have to explain Himself or His actions to me. Besides, I know that we don’t need to understand why God allows such things in order to trust Him.
In fact, I think, based on Isaiah 55:9 and Romans 11:33-34, that it is presumptuous on our parts to think that we even could understand God and what He is doing.
I am so thankful that I know the Lord, and I know the members of this family do as well. As hard as this is to go through for believers, I can’t imagine how hard it would be for those who do not have the hope that Christ gives us.
Romans 8:28 says that all things work together for good to those who love God. But we have trouble with that verse when we try to apply it to situations such as this one. However, if we read on to verse 29, I think it becomes clear that His good is different from what we usually think of as good.
I know that my God is so big and so multifaceted that He’s going to use this illness for good in so many ways that it would make my head spin if He explained all of them to me.
I choose to trust God, for I know He is good, He is in control, and He loves my friend.
My heart is still heavy, but I think He understands that.
When we walk with toddlers, we ask them to hold our hand. They often rebel and want to know why they must be restrained. They don’t know what we know. They don’t know about speeding cars, child snatchers and tripping dangers. We can’t list all the reasons why to our toddlers because they still wouldn’t have the judgement to make a proper decision.
I try to remember this analogy when I don’t understand how bad times could happen. I remind myself that “why” is 3/4ths of the word “whine” which is also a common response of toddlers under my care. Our Father knows best!
I can’t even process this right now. Please give her a hug for me and tell her how much I wish I could do it myself. Duane & I are praying for all of you. So thankful our God hears our prayers no matter how far away we are from each other.
What a beautiful way to explain the heartfelt experience you and so many others are going through. This can be applied to so many other tragedies in our lives. This woman is precious in our lives and will definitely be prayed for a lot.
Thank you for this wonderful tribute to her.
Hi Lyndsay. So glad you wrote this post, and that it was shared on facebook. I didn’t have much info and your words helped answer my questions about who and what was going on. Even though I am far away, geographically, I still think fondly of my time at SPBC and the lovely ladies there, especially the woman you mention above. May God pour out abundant mercy and grace on our mutual friend, as well as all the people affected by this news.
Six years after we left Lubbock, we went through an unbelievably difficult time in College Station. We were under a great deal of emotional strain for over a year, with great uncertainty. But, all during that time, small, quiet “fingerprints” of God would show up in random places and ways. He is kind and tender, the God of all comfort. Then, in His timing the “test” finally ended, and our next move was a huge blessing… twice as good as the other setting was difficult.
Sue, it’s good to hear from you! Thanks for the testimony of God’s faithfulness!