My heart is very heavy today.
One of my dearest friends found out this week that she has invasive metastatic breast cancer that has spread to several areas in her body, some of which are potentially life threatening.
This woman just graduated her youngest of four children from their home school. Her husband, an elder in our church, loves her, as do her children, her grandchild, and many others. She has another grandbaby due any time now.
She has been a friend of mine for many years. We have served our church side by side, raised our children together, taught and attended Bible studies together, held each other accountable, and encouraged each other through a large part of our adult lives.
I don’t understand why this is happening. From a strictly physical standpoint, it shouldn’t be. She has had regular exams, and at the last checkup she had, only a few months ago, everything was clear.
From a spiritual standpoint, she has so much to give. She’s been faithful to the Lord for so long, and she has one of the sweetest spirits of anyone I know. I have learned much from her. She’s been a grandmother for only two years. She’s just finished her home schooling journey, so she’ll have more time now.
I hate for her and her family to have to go through this, regardless of the outcome. It’s scary and painful, as well as upsetting and heartrending. I can’t think of a positive thing to call it, from a human perspective.
I am tempted to ask God, “Why?” but I know that He wasn’t too pleased with Job for asking that question. The truth of the matter is that God is not accountable to me. He doesn’t have to explain Himself or His actions to me. Besides, I know that we don’t need to understand why God allows such things in order to trust Him.
I am so thankful that I know the Lord, and I know the members of this family do as well. As hard as this is to go through for believers, I can’t imagine how hard it would be for those who do not have the hope that Christ gives us.
Romans 8:28 says that all things work together for good to those who love God. But we have trouble with that verse when we try to apply it to situations such as this one. However, if we read on to verse 29, I think it becomes clear that His good is different from what we usually think of as good.
I know that my God is so big and so multifaceted that He’s going to use this illness for good in so many ways that it would make my head spin if He explained all of them to me.
I choose to trust God, for I know He is good, He is in control, and He loves my friend.
My heart is still heavy, but I think He understands that.