Have you ever wondered why people who have been married for many years (like 30) get divorced? I have a friend who explained what sometimes happens this way:
- The couple is in love and gets married. Children come along.
- The husband gets busy building his career.
- The wife pours herself into the children.
- The children grow up. The wife turns back to her husband, but he is no longer there.
I am concerned that, in this very child-centric society in which we live, this may be happening far too often, even in Christian and home schooling families. The pressure that our culture puts on families about what children “need” can cause us to put our relationships with our husbands on the back burner.
We women know that we should put our husbands high on our priority lists, but just how do you do that? Often we are so busy during the day changing diapers and wiping snotty noses, taxiing children to different activities, picking up after them, helping with their schoolwork, etc., that we have nothing left for our husbands.
Ladies, scripture says that children are a heritage and blessing from the Lord. They are, but in most circumstances our husbands came first! I wanted to make sure mine was still around after the children were grown and gone.
Fortunately, time is not the only indicator of priorities. Just like we can purpose to do certain things to keep God our top priority, we should be intentional in our relationships with our husbands.
The following are some suggestions that have helped me keep my husband high on my priority list:
- Have a weekly date night.
- Ask your husband what is the one thing, if you can’t get anything else done, that he would like for you to do for him daily. Then make sure it’s done when he gets home from work. [Some husbands want dinner on the table when they get home. Mine was easier; he wanted our bed made. I discovered that it only takes five minutes to make a bed. I could do this!]
- Take at least one vacation a year sans kids, even if it’s just a night or two. [I know, moms, it may seem hard to leave the children, but for the sake of your marriage find someone you trust to take care of the children, then go and spend some extended quality time with your husband!]
- If he asks you to do something for him, try very hard to do it first or, if it’s not urgent, in the time he wants it done.
- Be sensitive to meeting his physical needs. [Keep in mind that you are the only one who can do this!]
We often think we know what our husbands want. Ask your husband what is important to him. You might be surprised!