Have you ever watched the reality television show, Bridezilla? I am not a fan of reality shows, but periodically I see bits and pieces of this show. I am always appalled by the selfishness portrayed by the brides! Ugh.
Yes, I’ve heard. The wedding is supposed to be the bride’s day. But what about the guy? Isn’t it his day too? If he wasn’t involved, there would be no wedding taking place!
Apparently things like episodes of Bridezilla really do happen. When one of my sons was getting married and he and his fiancé were having a pre-wedding photo shoot, the photographer commented on how nice they were to each other. She seemed surprised that they acted like they liked each other. When asked about it, she explained that by that stage of wedding planning, couples often weren’t getting along well.
Wow! That’s pretty sad, and it doesn’t speak well of our culture. That should be one of the happiest times in your life.
Not only that, think about all the bridges those bridezillas are burning with their future in-laws. Apparently most of the couples make it through the pre-wedding trials, but think about the family relationships wrecked by the selfish behavior of the brides. The man may love the woman enough to hang in there, but those relatives of the groom don’t have those kind of feelings for her, not before the wedding issues and surely not after!
Okay, but what about other times. Is it ever all about me?
Our culture encourages us to think selfishly, not just when we’re getting married, but often. How many times have we heard, “It’s all about me!” “I need to have my me time!” “I did it my way!” “I’m Number 1!” Someone has an “I wall” . . . ad nauseam?
The crux of the matter is that as long as we’re focused on what the big “I” wants, we don’t care what God wants. Also, we hear so often that God’s commands are restrictive or repressive.
Did God give us His commandments just to spoil our fun and keep us from enjoying life? I would like to suggest that God’s commands are really for our protection. His laws about interpersonal relationships are the keys to good friendships and a peaceful life.
If it really is all about Christ, we should live in accordance with Scripture-including not living selfishly. Philippians 2:3-4 (NKJV) says, “Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.”
. . . except when planning your wedding, right?
How does one teach her children to live selflessly, since that goes against their nature as well as the culture?
One thing we did was to use scripture in dealing with our children. We taught them to respect the Word and to realize that God gave it to us to teach us His way to live. We had them memorize verses, such as Luke 6:31 (the Golden Rule), Philippians 2:3-4, and Matthew 22:36-40, and reminded them of those verses when we saw selfish behavior.
This is not a one-time fix. You will most likely have to do it over and over again. Don’t give up. God’s Word never returns void but will accomplish what He pleases. (Isaiah 55:11)